At the end of each academic year in the US, high schools, colleges, and universities usually invite a speaker to deliver a commencement speech, commonly known in South Africa as a valedictory ceremony.
In May 1997, Mary Schmich, a columnist for the Chicago Tribune, penned a fictional commencement address, imagining that everyone dreams of returning to their alma mater to dispense wisdom. This speech, titled Advice, Like Youth, Probably Just Wasted on the Young, emphasised the importance of wearing sunscreen, inspired by watching a young person sunbathing. It soon circulated worldwide, mistakenly attributed to a speech delivered at MIT.
Australian film director Baz Luhrmann then adapted Schmich’s words into a musical piece titled Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen), turning a fictitious address into a Billboard hit in the US.
Reflecting on her daughter completing matric in 2026, the author shares her own imagined commencement speech, titled Just Don’t Be a Dick.
The central message stresses that success and failure are both parts of life. While achieving success, remain humble and acknowledge those who supported you. If you fail, resist the urge to become bitter and avoid blaming others.
The speech also advises graduates to navigate their careers with integrity, valuing people regardless of their job titles, and to treat everyone with respect. Should you find yourself in a position of power, use it wisely without humiliating others.
Acknowledging that everyone will inevitably be wrong at times, the importance of admitting mistakes and apologising is highlighted. Relationships and friendships require honesty and kindness, especially during difficult times.
On financial matters, the speech encourages graduates to be generous but not boastful about wealth. It also points out the significance of disagreement, suggesting that differing opinions can lead to valuable insights and should not lead to dehumanisation.
As life becomes busy, prioritise loved ones over work. Cherish time with family, and be present in their lives, especially as parents and children will face their own irritations.
Ultimately, the message conveys that growing older brings perspective, urging not to resent younger generations but to embrace change.
In conclusion, the speech reminds us all that mistakes will be made, but striving to do better each day is key. And never forget the importance of sunscreen.
